Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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