She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
please come you make the beer taste better
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
