direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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