on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
