Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
