Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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