What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
