Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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