We won't sleep together?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
