I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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