thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
