Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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