Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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