i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
