5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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