1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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