So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
