Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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