omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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