Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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