i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
