More tranny stories later!
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
