I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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