Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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