dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
