I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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