Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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