kristin has been a bad kristin
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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