two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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