what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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