I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
