I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
