were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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