The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
