Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
