Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
