I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
