3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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