How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
