It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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