I'm drive I can fine osifer
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
BRING THE BAGELS
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
