Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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