She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just had sex on a roof
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
