whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
