I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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