New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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