Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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