Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
