I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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