Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
