my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
