Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Randomize
