That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
